Yet Another ABC Story
by darkest.Quasar
Summary: Just in case you weren't sick of them yet, here's another DMHG ABC story/thing. Review please, critism/comments not necessarily in that order welcome!


Yet another over-used plot idea of ABC's! I don't own any of this, JK Rowling (and a few other authors I alluded to) owns all of this, etc etc.

**Draco is in bold**, _Hermione is in italics_, Harry is in underlined, Ron is in normal style.

**A is for Amazing.**___Aww…_

_B is for Bold._ ***beams* Thanks, honey.**

C is for disgusting. _That doesn't even start with a C._ I couldn't wait another letter, the way you two go on. **C is for Charming.** See what I mean???

_D is for_ Dogbreath. Hahahahaha. **Potter! Weasel! Out!** _Boys, this is a Hermione/Draco ABC book._ Too late.

E is for Elephant. **Huh?**_ Huh?_ Even I don't get that one. As a matter of fact, neither do I.

**F is for Frustration. As in, if you don't leave now, I'll—**_Dear!_

G is for Garlic. **Do I want to know?** Probably not. I have a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with you being a proverbial vampire… ***growl*** _Boys!_

_H is for Hufflepuff._ Only Hermione would bother with the history of the head of another house… _Ronald!_

**I is for I!** I think I'll go back and change E to Egotistical. _I is for Ignorant._ **Hint, hint, Weasel…**

J is for Jellyfish. Oh no. Not again. _I feel like I'm missing something…_Trust me, Hermione, you don't want to know. (*)

**L is for Lovely.** *vomits* _Quiet, Harry. Thank you, Draco._

**M is for Magnificent.** _I was just going to say the same thing._ Oiy! Could you two lay off it??? M is also for Disgusting!!! **This –is- our ABC book/thing. You –could- always leave. **True. We all know M is for Gorgeous. (**)

N is for Nauseating. Finally, one that makes sense. **How many times do I need to tell you to –leave-???**

_O is for Omnipotent._ **Are you talking about me? Aww, that's sweet.** Huh? **Look it up, Potter. And, by the way, O is also for Omniscient.**___Aww…_O is— (sound of silence) **Thank you.**

_P is for_ Potter. **Potter!!! Out! Now!** You can't honestly say you didn't see that coming?

_Q is for Q._(***) **Huh?** _Er…nevermind. Q is for Quandary. _**Yes. What a certain Potter and Weasel will be in if they do not –leave-.**

R is for— _It's not for Ronald!_ That's not what I was going to say! I –was- going to compliment you. _Oh. I'm sorry._ **R is for **Rabbits. **Potter!**

S is for Snape-is-a-git. ***growls*** _Ron…that's not one word._ *snicker*

T is for Tyrannical. **Are you implying something?** Interesting…Harry produced a general garment and you claim it's tailor-made? (****) Interesting indeed… _Boys!_

_U is for Understanding._ Oh sure, there's a lot of -that- going on here. _Actually, there is. You –understand- that if there is any more fighting, you will be the victim whatever Ginny can think up, Ron –understands- that he will wake up in a pit of spiders tomorrow morning, and Draco –understands- that he will be sleeping on the couch. Indefinitely. Understood?_ No more fighting. Got it. Got it. **Got it.**

**V is for Visionary.** _I'll take it as a compliment._

**W is for Wonderful, what else?** Ugh, getting sick again.** Butt out, Potter.** _Thank you, honey._

X is for…can anyone think of anything other than Xylophone? _X is for Xenophobe._ **…we'll ignore the fact that none of us are afraid of strangers.** _Yes, we will._

Y is for Yin and Yang. _It's not going to work, Ron._ **So ha. Hermione's married to –me-.** _Draco…_

Z is for Zebra Butterfly. **I won't ask. **_Well, it is less cliché than Zebra…_**By one whole word.**_ What would –you- say?_** Zappy. Or…Zarf.** Is that even a word? _Yes, amazingly…it's a cupholder…of sorts…_**Better than Zebra Butterfly.** Marginally. Who's side are you on? **No-one's. Because you are both leaving. –Now-.**

_Of course, they would have to wait to leave until this is all –done-…_ **Gits.** _Dear…_** Oh, alright.**

**But you can't tell me you don't prefer it being just you and me.**_ Well, no. I do._

Ha! Didn't think you could get rid of us –that- easily! Nope! Never!

**Oh -*-*— **_For once, I agree._

A/N:

*—see my earlier story, "Incredibly Random".

**—from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. I forget which one.

***—Q is a character from Gene Rodenberry's "Star Trek" (TNG, VOY, DS9)

****—that is a not-quite-direct quote from Dune, by Frank Herbert. Great series. I recommend it.

Anyway, review welcome, mostly drabble, I know, but fun to write. Hopefully I'll put up more soon.


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